Limericks - Page 6

Once there was a man from Boston
Who took a ride in his Austin
He had room for his ass
a gallon of gas
but his balls hung out and he lost them

There once was this girl from Sri Lanka,
A dusky-skinned maid named Bianca.
Each day she would sit
And play with her clit.
She was an incredible wanker!

There once was a man from Peru
Who was desperately hanging out for a screw.
He picked up a moll
And rammed home his pole
Then said, "Jesus, that was Long overdue."

Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard
to get her dog, Rover, a bone.
When she bent over, young Rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own...

"There was a Young Man from Kent
Whose Rod was so long it bent.
So to save himself trouble
He bent it in double,
And instead of coming -- he went!"

There was a young vampire called Mabel
Whose periods were very unstable
one night under the moon
she pulled out a spoon
and drank herself under the table

There once was a hacker named Ken
Who inherited truckloads of Yen
So he built him some chicks
Of silicon chips
And hasn't been heard from since then.

There once was a plumber from Leigh,
Who was plumbing his maid by the sea,
Said she, "Please stop plumbing,
I think someone's coming!"
Said he, "Yes I know love, it's me."

There once was a man called Ed,
Who couldn't get a woman to bed,
So when he wanted a diddle,
He's cut out her middle,
And hang the rest up in the shed.

There once was a young man named Gene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.

There was a young girl from Hong Kong
Whose cervical cap was a gong.
She said with a yell,
As a shot rang her bell,
"I'll give you a ding for a dong!"

There was an old pirate named Bates
Who was learning to rumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.

In the Garden of Eden sat Adam,
Massaging the bust of his madam,
He chuckled with mirth,
For he knew that on earth,
There were only two boobs and he had 'em.

Said a horny young girl from Milpitas,
"My favorite sport is coitus."
But a fullback from State
Made her period late,
And now she has athlete's fetus

My back aches, my pussy is sore;
I simply can't fuck any more;
I'm covered with sweat,
And you haven't come yet,
And my God, it's a quarter to four!

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