Limericks

Said Old father William I'm humble,
And getting too old for a tumble,
But produce me a blonde,
And i'm still not beyond,
An attempt at an interesting fumble

There was a young gigolo named Bruno
Who said, "Screwing one thing i do know.
While women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
Llamas are numero uno!"

There was a young Rabbi from peru,
Who was vainly attempting to screw,
His wife said "Oi vey",
If you keep up this way,
The Messiah will come before you do.

There was a young man named Sweeney,
Who spilled some gin on his weenie,
He thought this uncouth,
So he added vermouth,
And he slipped his girl a martini.

There was a young lady of worcester,
Who dreamt that a rooster seduced her,
She woke with a screm,
But 'twas only a dream,
A lump in the mattress had goosed her.

There was an old witch named Mean Molly,
Who thought swooping dogs was a real jolly,
Her broom broke, Kersplat!,
And she lost her black hat,
Now Molly is riding the trolly.

I wonder what christmas will be,
No merriment, good cheer or glee,
Now that Santa's arrested,
Because someone protested,
That he laid some doll under their tree.

There were three young maidens of twickenham,
Who wanted Tom, Harry, and Dick in 'em,
They prayed hard to Venus
Saying, "Surely, between us",
We can lengthen, and strengthen, and thicken'em

There was a young man of kildare,
Who was having a girl in a chair,
At the sixtieth stroke
The bloody thing broke
And his rifle went off in the air.

There was an old girl from Kilkenny,
Whose usual charge was a penny.
But for half of that sum
You could roger her bum
A source of amusement for many.

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